One-Woman-MOPOL: HBD to my Mom

There is a woman who has always stood by me, she still stands and always will.

When the world wanted me not, she was fully ready to accommodate me within herself.

While I was planning to relocate from Heaven County to Earth Jungle I checked on every woman to help me with the journey,

She was the only one who was kind enough to volunteer her womb.

At that time, the world said “there are no resources, no time and no need for him to come” but this woman fought the whole world on my behalf and said “I will find the resources, I would find the time for I have found a reason to make him come”.

I can only imagine how much stress I made her go through while that minute Zygote became #EmdeeTiamiyu, but she never complains.

Without any ammunition, no field officers, no firearms she has fought and continues to fight plenty of battles for me,

She has had years of all-night crying because of me,

She has had to face uncountable court trials because of me,

She has had to be locked up in a Police Station for no offence than caring too much about me,

She has had to beg for alms in the dark nights so I could survive (*tears*),

She has had to sacrifice her time, energy and comfort to give hope to my world,

She is my One-Woman-MOPOL.

Where and what would I be without her belief in me? Trash of course!

When the entire world believed not, her faith for me was fully charged like a Nokia battery.

A highly organized and strategic woman, I wish I had 10% of her organizational skills.

A highly courageous woman, I hope to steal all her confidence,

A highly motivated woman, I hope to motivate the world for her.

A highly caring woman, she never missed an opportunity to show me she cares.

I wish I could make her smile every day of her life.

I wish I could be with her for the rest of her life and remember the memories till eternity.

What would I do without her smiling mouth, drawing me into her, kicking me out

My Paradise lies under her feet,

I would rather give up the entire world than miss an opportunity to wash those feet.

And because of her, I just became a poet.

I am not writing this to win a Nobel or Pulitzer Prize in Literature,

I am writing to win the heart of my mother,

For winning her heart is worth more than multiple awards.

So what would I gift her on this special day?

Flowers and Roses wouldn’t mean much to her,

Neither would Silver or Gold do,

So I have brought for her the most wonderful gift in the world, me.

I bring to the world the very best of me, because she believes in me.

And when the entire world gives no damn about what becomes of me, she’s always there whispering “Baby you can! The world is just kidding. Baby you can!”

I am like Abraham Lincoln who said “All that I am and all that I ever hope to be I owe to my mother”.

That’s why when I count my blessings, I count my mom twice.

Life can be cruel without having a wonderful mother.

I wish her undiluted ifokanbale and unlimited happiness all the days of her life.

I wish her long life and plenty of fruitful years ahead.

Ultimately, I pray God grants her unconditional Paradise and make her taste it before she leaves the world.

Kudos to all our mothers, far, near, alive and those resting in peace.

Happy Birthday to my One-Woman-MOPOL (14^th November)

Happy Birthday to Umm Emdee Tiamiyu

God Bless our Moms.

Share if you have a Mom that cares.

---- Emdee Tiamiyu (The most awesome son any Mom can ask for)

Nigeria at 55: The full text of President #Muhammad Buhari’s speech

#October 01, 2015 at 7:05 am

“October 1st is a day for joy and celebrations for us Nigerians, whatever the circumstances we find ourselves in because it is the day, 55 years ago; we liberated ourselves from the shackles of colonialism and began our long march to nationhood and to greatness.

“No temporary problems or passing challenges should stop us from honouring this day. Let us remind ourselves of the gifts God has given us. Our Creator has bequeathed to us Numbers – Nigeria is the ninth most populated country on the planet. We have in addition arable land; water; forests; oil and gas; coastline; and solid minerals

“We have all the attributes of a great nation. We are not there yet because the one commodity we have been unable to exploit to the fullest is unity of purpose. This would have enabled us to achieve not only more orderly political evolution and integration but also continuity and economic progress.

“Countries far less endowed have made greater economic progress by greater coherence and unity of purpose.
“Nonetheless, that we have remained together is an achievement we should all appreciate and try to consolidate. We have witnessed this year a change in our democratic development.

“The fact that an opposition party replaced an entrenched government in a free and fair election is indicative of the deeper roots of our democratic system. Whatever one’s views are, Nigerians must thank former President Jonathan for not digging-in in the face of defeat and thereby saving the country untold consequences.

“As I said in my inaugural speech, I bear no ill will against anyone on past events. Nobody should fear anything from me. We are not after anyone. People should only fear the consequences of their actions. I hereby invite everyone, whatever his or her political view to join me in working for the nation.

“My countrymen and women, every new government inherits problems. Ours was no different. But what Nigerians want are solutions, quick solutions not a recitation of problems inherited.

“Accordingly, after consultations with the Vice President, senior party leaders and other senior stakeholders, I quickly got down to work on the immediate, medium-term and long-term problems which we must solve if we are to maintain the confidence which Nigerians so generously bestowed on us in the March elections and since then.

“As you know, I toured the neighbouring countries, marshalled a coalition of armed forces of the five nations to confront and defeat Boko Haram. I met also the G-7 leaders and other friendly presidents in an effort to build an international coalition against Boko Haram.

“Our gallant armed forces under new leadership have taken the battle to the insurgents, and severely weakened their logistical and infrastructural capabilities. Boko Haram are being scattered and are on the run.

“That they are resorting to shameless attacks on soft targets such as I.D.P. camps is indicative of their cowardice and desperation. I have instructed security and local authorities to tighten vigilance in vulnerable places.

On power, government officials have held a series of long sessions over several weeks about the best way to improve the nation’s power supply in the safest and most cost-effective way.

“In the meantime, improvement in the power supply is moderately encouraging. By the same token, supply of petrol and kerosene to the public has improved throughout the country. All the early signs are that within months the whole country would begin to feel a change for the better.

“Preliminary steps have been taken to sanitize NNPC and improve its operations so that the inefficiency and corruption could be reduced to a minimum.

“Those of our refineries which can be serviced and brought back into partial production would be enabled to resume operations so that the whole sordid business of exporting crude and importing finished products in dubious transactions could be stopped.

“In addition to NNPC, I have ordered a complete audit of our other revenue generating agencies mainly CBN, FIRS, Customs, NCC, for better service delivery to the nation. Prudent house-keeping is needed now more than ever in view of the sharp decline in world market oil prices. It is a challenge we have to face squarely. But what counts is not so much what accrues but how we manage our resources.

“We have seen in the last few years how huge resources were mismanaged, squandered and wasted. The new APC government is embarking on a clean up, introducing prudence and probity in public financing.

“At an early stage, the federal government addressed the issue of salary arrears in many states, a situation capable of degenerating into social unrest. The APC government stepped in to provide short-term support to the debtor states and enabled them to pay off the backlog and restore the livelihood of millions of Nigerians.

“Fellow Nigerians, there have been a lot of anxiety and impatience over the apparent delay in announcement of ministers. There is no cause to be anxious. Our government set out to do things methodically and properly. We received the handing over notes from the outgoing government only four days before taking over. Consequently, the Joda Transition Committee submitted its Report on the reorganization of Federal Government structure after studying the hand over notes. It would have been haphazard to announce ministers when the government had not finalized the number of ministries to optimally carry the burden of governance.

“Anyway, the wait is over. The first set of names for ministerial nominees for confirmation has been sent to the senate. Subsequent lists will be forwarded in due course. Impatience is not a virtue. Order is more vital than speed. Careful and deliberate decisions after consultations get far better results. And better results for our country is what the APC government for CHANGE is all about.

“I would like to end my address this morning on our agenda for CHANGE. Change does not just happen. You and I and all of us must appreciate that we all have our part to play if we want to bring change about. We must change our lawless habits, our attitude to public office and public trust. We must change our unruly behaviour in schools, hospitals, market places, motor parks, on the roads, in homes and offices. To bring about change, we must change ourselves by being law-abiding citizens.

“Happy Independence Celebrations. Long live the Federal Republic of Nigeria.”

Optical Valley Wuhan

I bring you glad tidings from ‪#‎OpticalValley‬.
Optical Valley is ‪#‎China‬’s biggest photoelectron information ‪#‎industry‬ base. It is located in the city of ‪#‎Wuhan‬, central China’s ‪#‎Hubei‬ Province. In the twentieth century, ‪#‎SiliconValley‬ in the United States brought great development to the global IT sector. Industry experts predict the biggest industry in the 21st century will be photoelectron information.

This gigantic project and multi-Billion dollar investment is what I call creating‪#‎tomorrow‬, ‪#‎today‬.

In addition to the solid industrial base, another advantage of Optical Valley is its rich human resources. There are 18 universities and institutes, 56 state level research organizations and over 150,000 high-technology experts in the area. About one third of the experts work in the photoelectron information industry. They are the key to the establishment and development of Optical Valley.

After years of construction, Optical Valley in Wuhan has registered over 5000 businesses. About one fourth of them are high-tech-related.

Optical valley has good environmental conditions, like sufficient water, electricity, and telecommunications. The infrastructure investment is over 4.12 billion US dollars. Some famous international universities (I'm still looking for ‪#‎University‬ of ‪#‎Ibadan‬, ‪#‎UNILAG‬, ‪#‎UNILORIN‬ & ‪#‎LAUTECH‬) are building hi-tech parks there.

An Optical Valley is to be established in south China’s Guangdong Province with the cooperation of the US company Lucent Technology. And Changchun, the capital of northeast China's Jilin Province, and Shanghai Pudong New Area have plans for the construction of an Optical Valley and photoelectron industry park of their own. These places will bring huge business opportunities in China for both domestic and overseas businesses.

Thanks for ‪#‎reading‬ this piece and increasing your ‪#‎knowledge‬ about the‪#‎world‬..

From #LasGidi to #LasVegas

    Emmanuel Fadahunsi is a young Engineer who has great passion for Public Speaking. He currently wears the crown as the "West-African Champion of Public Speaking" 2015. He would be representing #Nigeria, West-Africa and #Africa at the World Championship of Public Speaking taking place at Las Vegas (#Nevada) this August, 2015.

   In the following interview, he shares his Toastmaster Story.

•       Your Toastmaster Story: Since I joined Toastmasters, I have not only been refining my communication skills, I have also been honing my leadership and inter-personal skills. With all the leadership and communication programs Toastmasters offers, now I do not only believe the tagline—Where Leaders are made—I have deeply felt it!

•  High points of being in the Club:

Evaluations, Networking, and Speech Contest

• Journey began on: November 2013

•       How has Toastmasters made a difference in your life at Home, Work, or in Toastmasters?

I’m a better listener now than I was before. This has improved my interpersonal communications at work, at home or in Toastmasters. Also, my confidence has improved greatly when I speak in public.

•        Describe your favorite Toastmasters experience?

When I attended a Toastmasters’ meeting for the first time, I was given a Table Topic. As I was speaking, I lost my train of thoughts and I practically became dumb. I began to sweat in a room I once felt the air-conditioner was hyperactive. I was very embarrassed! But then my audience—Toastmasters and fellow guests—kept urging me to go on. And their supportive attitude gave me the courage to bounce back. When my speech would be evaluated, I was expecting a diatribe. But then I was evaluated me in a way that left me motivated. That experience left an indelible impression in my mind that Toastmasters’ environment is highly supportive.

•          Leadership Roles held in the Club since joining:

Vice President Public Relations and Vice President Membership

•          Communications and Leadership Achievements:

Competent Communicator (CC) and Competent Leader (CL) Awards

•         How does it feel to be representing District 94 and Nigeria in the International Speech Contest?  

It feels great but not without a burden. While I feel proud to be the first Nigerian as well as the first West African to represent District 94 (West Africa) at that level of speech contest, I also feel a heavy weight on my shoulders when I think of the number of people I will be representing. But I am confident that I will not just contest at the World Championship of Public Speaking, I will come back home with the trophy. When this happens, I will be the youngest and the first African to win the World Championship of Public Speaking.

•             What are your tips for any of the members aspiring to take part next year?

Be passionate. Prepare adequately keeping in mind these 7Ps: Proper Private Practice Prevents Poor Public Performance. Don’t enter the contest simply to win; enter because you have a compelling message that burns your heart so much that you must share with the world using the contest as a medium. Compete with and NOT against other contestants. Get help from others. 

Please join us on this "Road to the World Championship of Public Speaking" 2015 by clicking the following links for updates:

Facebook: Emmanuel Fadahunsi

Twitter: Emmanuel Fadahunsi

You can also learn about the Toastmasters International Program by contacting me on:

Facebook: Emdee Tiamiyu

Twitter: Emdee Tiamiyu

Kindly share this message and let's make #history together..

Your Passion Can Set You Free!

If there is anything I’ll always be grateful for, it is my decision to convert my passion into a profitable venture. Imagine doing what you love and getting paid for it. Sounds good? Yes it is but may be a bit difficult without some help.  The value of having an experienced guide who would hold your hands on this journey is highly inestimable. I’ve been searching for an avenue to help enough people, regardless of age or gender, with this and I was amazed when I discovered MAC Consulting Firm. Management Advisory Consulting (MAC) is one of Nigeria’s leading consulting firms with numerous local and international award-winning projects to her credit.I am partnering with MAC Consulting for an innovative training on “How to Convert What You Love into a Paid Job.” Taking advantage of this training would help you settle your weekly quarrel with Monday and allow you enjoy life rather than endure it.The training is scheduled as follows:

Date: 17 – 20 August, 2015
Time: 9:30 am to 5:00pm Everyday
Course Fee: #35, 000/Participant
Venue:  MAC’s Conference Hall, No 46 Lobito Crescent, Off Ademola Adetokunbo, Wuse 2, Abuja, Nigeria.

Fee includes Training Material inside a flash pen, Mentoring Sessions, Certificate, Tea Break and Lunch.

To register, kindly click http://goo.gl/MYJmwg .

Looking forward to helping you build a worthwhile YOU!

--- Emdee Cares

HOW TO MANUALLY CONFIGURE YOUR PHONE FOR INTERNET BROWSING ON AIRTEL, MTN, GLO AND ETISALAT.

I get surprised with the large number of people who still find it difficult to configure/set up their phones for internet browsing.I get so many disturbances from people in my community on this same issue almost everyday.It's something I think every literate should be able to do because there is no big deal in it especially if you are using a Nokia Java or Symbian phone

This thought kept on ringing in my mind to write a tutorial on this and the solution is what you are about to discover.

                                     STEPS TO CONFIGURE YOUR NOKIA JAVA PHONE

1.Go to Settings>Configuration>Personal Configuration>Add New>Web.
2.Input the settings I'll drop below in the required fields depending on your network provider

                                  STEPS TO CONFIGURE YOUR NOKIA SYMBIAN PHONE
1.Go to Tools>Settings>Connection>Access points>Options>New access point.
2..Input the settings I'll drop below in the required fields depending on your network provider.
  GLO MANUAL CONFIGURATION SETTINGS
Account Name: GLO
Homepage: http://wap.gloworld.com
Username: wap
Password: wap
Access Point or APN: glosecure
IP or Proxy Address: 010.100.098.022
Port: 8080

MTN MANUAL CONFIGURATION SETTINGS

Account Name: MTN
Homepage: http://wap.mtnonline.com
Username: web
Password: web
Access Point or APN: web.gprs.mtnnigeria.net
IP or Proxy Address: 010.199.212.002
Port: 8080

AIRTEL  MANUAL CONFIGURATION SETTINGS

Account Name: AIRTEL
Homepage: http://wap.ng.airtel.com
Username: Internet
Password: Internet
Access Point or APN: internet.ng.zain.com
IP or Proxy Address: 172.018.254.005
Port: 8080
ETISALAT MANUAL CONFIGURATION SETTINGS
Account Name: ETISALAT
Homepage: http://www.etisalat.com.ng OR http://mobile.etisalat.com.ng
Username: wap
Password: wap
Access Point or APN: etisalat
IP or Proxy Address: 010.071.170.005
Port: 8080
With these I think everyone should be able to setup his/her mobile phone for internet surfing.

The Saraki Saga: What You Should Not Expect.

I wonder if the people (non-politicians) behind Saraki would be able to TRUST him with their Personal/Company Bank Account or valuable assets, given all the available premises.

I just watched the summarized version of the session that made Abubakar Bukola Saraki​ senate President of the 8th #NASS.

Constitutional or not, what I know for sure is that #Saraki has just murdered sleep! Yes! He can't sleep again.. Now, he has to be #APC in the day, #PDP at night until he decides where he belongs. So, how would he ever settle to give that seat what it takes? When you mix "Alomo" plus "Ogogoro" plus "Burukutu" and take that as a recipe for headache, if that head doesn't break up, it will break you up! That's the similitude of the scenario at hand and Bukola just got his fair share.

If you ask me, another "Bench Warmer" just climbed the throne of our senate. You can clearly notice that from the excitement in him the first time he used the gavel.

Why Do Leaders Fail?

Most of our leaders fail not because they can't identify the problems of the people nor because they have no resources or constitutional injunction to make a difference. They fail because of their ELECTORAL MINDSET. Right there in their subconscious mind, they are out to JUST WIN the elections and be called "Senator" or "Honourable" or "Governor" XYZ. They can sacrifice anything in this world to make that happen. 98% of them have no idea about what leadership or governance is. No thanks to our numerous unemployed Law, English and Linguistics graduates who make a living writing manifestos for good-for-nothing politicians. That's why most of them even find it difficult to read what was written for them. How lovely and well-composed the manifestos used to be. To be realistic, how easy would it be for you to implement manifesto promises you know virtually nothing about? That's to say, they wrote all that grammar to win elections not for them to implement. Unfortunate!

The moment success is assumed, failure is imminent. For Saraki, and the people who know him well, the peak of his senatorial re-election was to become the Senate President and that he has achieved. I just beg you not to expect anything more from the lucky guy.

I see this beyond personal or party interests. It's about Nigeria and Nigerians. As a matter of fact, Senator Saraki is my Birthday Mate so, nothing do us.

Let's not just expect too much from a man who would now sleep less than he ever imagined.

It's a democratic drama, directed by "Mago-Mago"and produced by "Madaru's"...

Emdee Cares!!

A Reason To Do More

I got a heart-warming appreciation message from Alli Oke yesterday. Alli and his twin brother Habeeb are my students and mentees whom I'm privileged to share some light with.
At first, I thought the looong message was just another WhatsApp broadcast message but I decided to take a second look. I was highly surprised that the "textbook" message was written all because of me. I can't afford not to tell you that was the best compliment anyone in this world ever sent me since the beginning of this year 2015.
Every letter,every sentence and every punctuation mark in the message brought me so much LOVE and A REASON TO DO MORE.
Nothing gives me more joy, than having an opportunity to help enough people succeed with the singular life they've got.
I pray all the prayers you made come to reality and I pray we can together make Him proud all the days ahead..
Dedicated to Alli & Habeeb Oke..
---Emdee Cares

Omo Oduduwa: Read this before you vote for any Candidate in the Governorship and State Assemblies Elections on April 11, 2015

Here is the reason why Yorubas Must not Vote for PDP Candidates and their Surrogates (Labour,Accord&SDP ) in Governorship and State Assemblies Elections on April 11, 2015

Following our independence as a nation on the 1^st of October, 1960. The Yorubas have never been at the centre of Government in Nigeria as a result of annulment, military coups , manipulations,  election rigging, conspiracy ,jealousy   by other  ethnic nationalities in our country , even when it was obvious that Yoruba candidate won an election or was the  best candidate for the position.

 Despite all these treatments  inflicted on the Yoruba race , we were steadfast in our pursuit of a better and prosperous nation. We are grateful to Almighty    God for rewarding us with this victory and opportunity  to be at the helms of affairs in this country for the first time in the history of our dear nation.  Please we should not allow political hawks , sycophants , anti-people ,shenanigans,weaklings and   opportunists to destroy what our true leaders , sons and daughters of Oduduwa have laboured for  over a period of five decades .

Every  patriotic citizen of Yoruba extraction must recognize that we are  now at the driver’s seat and we cannot afford to be a passenger on this journey of rebuilding   our great nation. Yoruba ronu, we must  think deep ,reflect and decide where we want to be in the next four years in our respective states ,it is not an overstatement if  it is said that we are the most democratic and accommodating out of all the major ethnic groups in Nigeria.

Facts You Might Not Know

-Chief Olusegun Mimiko  collected money from President Jonathan to deliver Ondo to PDP

- Ayodele Fayose was given N10 billion naira to blackmail the President Elect and create violence in Ekiti

- Chief Rasheed Ladoja collected N5 billion naira to spoil the chance of APC in the General Election

- Chief (Mrs) Jumoke Akinjide was given several billions to pursue the re-election of President Jonathan

 

- Teslim  Folarin collected N6 billion naira to pursue his governorship ambition in Oyo State.

-Chief Alao Akala collected N27billion refund from the Federal Government on behalf of Oyo State and squandered it .

-Engineer Seyi Makinde is an agent of theDesiani Madueke dynasty who was allocated an oil bloc  in the  Niger Delta , someone who lacks political and administrative pedigree to govern Oyo State.

-Olusegun Osoba  collected billions from President  Jonathan to spoil the chance of APC  at the General Elections.

- Last but not the least, Jimi Agbaje was given N10 billion to perfect the “Operation take over Lagos” and was instructed to partner with the Igbos in

  Lagos.

Yorubas must not allow people of questionable characters ,those who  have participated in the looting of our Treasury and have brought poverty and under development to our region and the nation as a whole to hold sensitive positions anywhere in our states.

Let us join the winning team . Vote wisely

   

Concerned Yorubas for Good Governance

Team Nigeria!!!

I do not know Buhari personally
But Soyinka, David-West, Fashola, Bakare, Tinubu
Olisemaka, Adefulu, Oyedele, Mamora... etc. 
They all endorse him
That is good enough for me today

Fear not the man Buhari
Even if he wanted, he cannot Islamize Nigeria
He cannot arbitrarily lock people up
He cannot govern by decree
He cannot act without the legislature and judiciary
This is a democracy

These are desperate times
A strong leader, and with an anti-corruption conviction
Is what we need at this point
All else will gradually fall in place

But one man cannot do it alone
He needs our support to lead aright
As arrowhead, his unyielding fearless stance assures
Other good things will follow

Obasanjo gave a solid backing to his own team
That was why Ngozi succeeded then, but not now
That was why El Rufai was impactful
Ribadu and others too

Buhari’s unyielding stance… Gidigba!
Would give the strong foundation
That would empower his team
And enable success


Nigeria has skilled, wise, motivated men and women of vision
Who will get great results
In the right environment
Imagine what is possible… Team Nigeria!

Osinbajo, Ezekwesili, Oyegun, Fashola, Amaechi, Oshiomole, Soyinka, Utomi, Kwankwanso, Okorocha, Mamora, Fayemi, Bakare, Tinubu, Anyaoku, Adeola, Ngige, Opeke, Aregbesola, Omogui-Okauru, Amosun, Ajimobi, Ajumogobia, Ajekigbe, Duke, Olukanni, David-Borha, El Rufai, Oyedele, Ribadu, Opadokun
Obi, Longe, Okei-Odumakin, Akintunde-Johnson, Belgore, Austen-Peters, Tambuwal, Agbaje, Sonibare, Ndukwe, Momodu, Kukah, Keyamo, Na’Abba, Ndubuisi Kanu, Nnamani, Falana, Mohammed, Akande, Abiola-Costello, Peterside...
...and many more…
As ministers, heads, advisers, elders etc.
Many at home… many abroad…
There are many in their 40s… many under 40
+ the most important player… U

Ah!… we have people…
Given the right environment?... Haba!

Let us vote in a new era
It is Buhari/Osinbajo + U
And other vigilant, critical, supportive, good people of Nigeria
Arise!... Team Nigeria!

Adieu My Redmi Note!

WARNING: This article may advertise a Phone you’ll want to buy next.

If I am gonna number the mobile phones I’ve used, my Xiamo Redmi Note should fall on the 13^th or above. The period of eight (8) months that it spent with me was my best experience ever with any mobile device. At the point of order, its fascinating attributes weren’t totally clear to me but I simply followed Onawole Habeeb’s #HabeebTechAdvice and the result was nothing short of splendid.

What exactly shouldn’t I talk about its features? Is it the sleek and slim design? Is it the optimum screen display that allows me read text and watch videos without stress? Is it the ever-rugged gorilla glass 2 screen material that refused to break even when I throw it from heights? Is it the UI (User Interface not University of Ibadan ooo!) that’s second to none? Is it the RAM (not Ileya RAM ooo, Random Access Memory) that’s higher than that of many PCs?

Is it the battery life that wouldn’t allow my Redmi Note go off even when PHCN keeps holding power? God! I miss my Redmi Note!! If I could  go on a “Facebook Strike” for a whole week, just to express my condolence, then you should know it’s more than just an ordinary phone.

The painful incident happened in Eko Akete exactly last Friday. I landed at MMA2 after cruising for about 56mins at an altitude of 30,000 feet ASL. As I moved away from the airport, towards LASUTH to get some tasks done, I was jokingly telling a business partner on phone that the statement “Eko oni baje!” has become invalid since 1960. I never knew I would be proven right.

Less than 30 minutes after dropping the call, I was relieved of my Xiaomi Redmi Note by the “Sharp Guys” of Lagos. The geolocation was latitude “Ikeja-Along”, longitude “Under-Bridge”. The guy(s) who stole my Redmi from the deep enclave of my front pocket must have strong connections with T. B. Joshua or Guru Maharaji or both. I no think say na ordinary eye. I swear! Abi no be this awa Lagos? My own Lagos? Abeg, no console me, abeg!

I got my SIMs retrieved the next day and thanks to Google cloud which brought back my synched contacts. I’ll like to express my sincere gratitude to Kunle, my younger brother whose “paalasa” I used to inform people about the glorious exit of my mobile companion. A loving friend gave me one of her “smart” phones within 10 hours and helped me gain some balance. It can only be called “smart”, compared to my Redmi. Just Kidding!

Did I tell you that my phone allows me to follow the lyrics of songs and Nasheeds? As soon as I put an audio file on my Redmi, it goes all over the internet to get me the lyrics of the song, it also scrolls the lyrics as the song plays. Ouch! I feel like crying right now! 

I’ll not even tell you that when my Redmi Note battery becomes 1%, I could still make voice calls for over 90 minutes. I hope you now know why I miss my phone so much?  My Xiamo Redmi Note is a dual SIM which makes family members, friends and business partners closer and I never had to carry two phones. Oh my Redmi! The major lesson here is that you don’t have to buy popular brands to get the best quality.

Rest in Perfect Disuse in the hands of those that wouldn’t put you to optimum use. I’ll miss you and the over 125 apps which made my world. I already got few of the apps back and would soon order for your twin again. Sorry I didn’t buy you a jacket, nor a raincoat while you were with me. But remember, I took you to the best places, including Calabar Kitchen? Until I meet your amazing features in your twin brother, tell your abductors “Dairis God oooooooooo” and that I will surely collect you back on Judgement day.

I wouldn’t forget all the ease you brought to www.justemdee.com/biz. Where is my handkerchief? Tears rolling from my eyes….

Why Nigerians Must Think Before They Vote

Fellow Nigerians, please help me to assess Jonathan in the last four years and score him appropriately with your votes. Vote for him if you have light at home. Vote for him if our naira is still valuable at N220 to a dollar. Vote for him if he has prosecuted the fuel subsidy thieves. Vote for him if he has revolutionized our agriculture to provide jobs and food for the nation. Vote for him if you are satisfied with the level of security in our land today. Vote for him if our graduates have jobs.
Vote for him if our women can access free maternal healthcare. Vote for him if you have not been forced to seek education for your children in foreign lands. Vote for him if any of your relatives has never been victim of death traps on our roads. Vote for him if any member of your community has not been kidnapped for ransom in the last four years.
 If you have pipe-borne water in your village or town vote for him. If your salary as a civil servant has been paid up to date, vote for him. If he has not wantonly depleted our foreign reserve vote for him. Vote for Jonathan if he has not grabbed vast Abuja lands for himself and shared the rest among his cronies. If your business is thriving, vote for him.
Please check the following economic indices from 2007 to date :
1. External Reserve 2. Excess Crude Oil Account  3. Exchange Rate  
4. External Debt      5.Energy Sector 6. Education Sector  7. Security 8. Corruption
9. Employment Rate 10.Health Sector 11. Inflation Rate 12. Enforceable Laws
There may not be another opportunity like this for us as a people to change the way and manner we are governed.
Vote wisely for a better and prosperous Nigeria.

Rocking the Rocks of AsoRock

It’s a looong time I wrote in here. Apart from breaking the silence, I have a new gush of motivation to make you learn about rocks. I have been used to the word “Aso” and I have seen quite a number of rocks, but yesterday (2^nd March, 2015) I saw the two words come together to form a synergy of royalty. It was my first time of seeing the solvent “Aso” dissolve the solute “Rock” to form a neutral solution called AsoRock. I had the singular privilege of stepping my little feet into the Presidential Villa of the world’s largest black nation. May be I’m excited, may be.

It was a cool serene environment guarded by security angels and protected by the best available “technology” money can buy. The exams you would write and the series of fierce-looking guards you would encounter before gaining admission into the prestigious AsoRock University is quite intimidating. These dudes are ready to gun down a housefly if it misbehaves or over-behaves. The ambiance of luxury that the #AsoRock beholds is next to none. You can feel that from every inch of the stones with which the structures were made. Even as real as it was that I was in there, I couldn’t stop asking myself “so, here is the Presidential Villa I used to see on NTA News?”

A night before, Mom already told me that I should be on a suit. She doesn’t want her son to be caught on camera with the president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria while dressing shabbily. I appreciated the advice and I harkened to it. The advice not only made me look great but also got me better selfies. That’s what having a great mother does for you…

Finally, finally, I met with Mr President Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan (GCFR) himself, clad in his habitual Niger-Delta dress code with that black sleek “presidential” cap. It was a great moment for me and a couple of members of the privileged audience. At least, I met the Commander-In-Chief of the Armed Forces right there in his hood. If you can shake me within the next 48 hours, you will get your share of the Presidential anointing before it expires.  No be small thing now! Did you just say “who cares?” Well, you fit try go there tomorrow morning, I wish you Goodluck.

No one actually cares as it doesn’t increase the value of the Naira neither does it #BringBackOurGirls. But, one thing you should know for sure is “WE” have set up a committee to look into these issues and “WE” are on top of the situation.  LOL! Let me not describe what I observed about Mr President’s countenances before, during and after the 3-hour programme. I prefer to make it presidentially “classified”. After this experience, I have understood better that we are all ordinary mortals and that a Presidential Handshake is just an ordinary handshake that has a “president” behind it. I have also realized, for an umpteenth time, that you can achieve whatsoever you set your mind to achieve and that whatever providence has destined to be yours will surely be yours, even if you are not fit or ready for it.

What I enjoyed most were not the snapshots and glamour nor was it the presence of five state governors(of course, including my birthday mate Godswill Akpabio), IG of Police, Minister for Youth Development and other goons in the house. It was actually the professional and highly skilled performance of the Presidential Military Band and the beautiful voice of a young female compere that co-anchored the event. This lady got me highly fired up, I’m gonna tell you why, later (God willing).  

There is a part I didn’t tell you. On my way back home, my trousers got torn for yansh. God!! The more I tried to stretch out, the more the thing dey tear. No, it wasn’t an accident neither is my suit Aba-made abeg! I just discovered I have grown bigger than I was two months ago when I rocked the suit last. Now, I need a presidential tailor to help me amend the trousers which tore in a presidential manner. You go apply? Conclusively, I now have a better view about rocks. I learned a lesson my geography teacher never taught me. That lesson is that, all rocks are beautiful but only the rock that has Aso behind it is special and powerful.

I need to quickly attend to justemdee.com/biz. Thanks for reading my uninteresting story about an interesting place. Love You!!

AsaroPhobia --- The fear of Asari...

Haba! You too like food. Ehn Ehn? I know you understand what phobia means but why are you trying to link the “Asaro” prefix with Asaro (Yoruba word for Yam Porridge).   Asaro ko, Pounded-yam ni. Abeg hear me out first. It’s one of my most shocking experiences in this week. Thank God I am alive to share the story.

Did I tell you that the man you have always watched in videos and read about in papers came to my masjid to pray Jummah yesterday? He is that guy that spits fire and the one-man battalion whom many are afraid of. He is a fine boy with no pimples, I'm not making this up..Like, seriously. I never noticed he was around as I just decided to mind my business.

When we finished the prayer, I proceeded to salute the Imam for a fantastic Jummah presentation. The Imam is an outstanding orator who has a good grasp of Yoruba, Arabic and English. I’m always lifted high with his sermons. As I reached the door, a huge man was the one just coming out. The man humbly stretched his hand and said "Assalamu alaykum!". I responded as necessary, "Walaykum Salam!". I almost got carried away with the softness of his palm.

I swear, this guy's hand is sooooo soft that I thought I was holding a freshly-baked Agege Bread. I looked up and I saw his huge chocolate body, looking fresh. Lo and behold, I was holding hands with Alhaji Mujahid Asari Dokubo, formerly Melford Dokubo Goodhead Jr. Omo, I was glued to the spot! I no go lie, fear catch me small. He added, as if he knew me before, "How is work and family?". I said, "We thank God"...(*Let me cut out the rest of the conversation*).

I don’t really know what actually got him interested about me. Probably it was my native Yoruba dressing. I actually “wasted” the woven cap. It’s one of the caps I inherited from my mentor, Chris Uwaje of Africa. I am still feeling thrilled with the humility of this man, I compared those videos with the Asari I just met and I can't understand why he isn't for‪#‎ANewNigeria. Abi na camouflage? I am posting this so you know about it before you see it on TV. NOW, don't call me a MEND guy ooo! I don't know anything about ‪#‎MEND ooo! Na beg I dey beg ooo!

Although I was caught by little AsaroPhobia (Fear of Asari), I am 100% for ‪#‎Change. I never decamp ooo. My brother no dey inside this ‪#‎FeBUHARI ‪#‎ValentineElection ooo. It's our Nigeria, let's take it back...
I'll use my ‪#‎RedCard2015. It's my ‪#‎PVC. Thanks for reading. Don’t forget to subscribe and share with friends.