Rocking the Rocks of AsoRock

It’s a looong time I wrote in here. Apart from breaking the silence, I have a new gush of motivation to make you learn about rocks. I have been used to the word “Aso” and I have seen quite a number of rocks, but yesterday (2^nd March, 2015) I saw the two words come together to form a synergy of royalty. It was my first time of seeing the solvent “Aso” dissolve the solute “Rock” to form a neutral solution called AsoRock. I had the singular privilege of stepping my little feet into the Presidential Villa of the world’s largest black nation. May be I’m excited, may be.

It was a cool serene environment guarded by security angels and protected by the best available “technology” money can buy. The exams you would write and the series of fierce-looking guards you would encounter before gaining admission into the prestigious AsoRock University is quite intimidating. These dudes are ready to gun down a housefly if it misbehaves or over-behaves. The ambiance of luxury that the #AsoRock beholds is next to none. You can feel that from every inch of the stones with which the structures were made. Even as real as it was that I was in there, I couldn’t stop asking myself “so, here is the Presidential Villa I used to see on NTA News?”

A night before, Mom already told me that I should be on a suit. She doesn’t want her son to be caught on camera with the president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria while dressing shabbily. I appreciated the advice and I harkened to it. The advice not only made me look great but also got me better selfies. That’s what having a great mother does for you…

Finally, finally, I met with Mr President Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan (GCFR) himself, clad in his habitual Niger-Delta dress code with that black sleek “presidential” cap. It was a great moment for me and a couple of members of the privileged audience. At least, I met the Commander-In-Chief of the Armed Forces right there in his hood. If you can shake me within the next 48 hours, you will get your share of the Presidential anointing before it expires.  No be small thing now! Did you just say “who cares?” Well, you fit try go there tomorrow morning, I wish you Goodluck.

No one actually cares as it doesn’t increase the value of the Naira neither does it #BringBackOurGirls. But, one thing you should know for sure is “WE” have set up a committee to look into these issues and “WE” are on top of the situation.  LOL! Let me not describe what I observed about Mr President’s countenances before, during and after the 3-hour programme. I prefer to make it presidentially “classified”. After this experience, I have understood better that we are all ordinary mortals and that a Presidential Handshake is just an ordinary handshake that has a “president” behind it. I have also realized, for an umpteenth time, that you can achieve whatsoever you set your mind to achieve and that whatever providence has destined to be yours will surely be yours, even if you are not fit or ready for it.

What I enjoyed most were not the snapshots and glamour nor was it the presence of five state governors(of course, including my birthday mate Godswill Akpabio), IG of Police, Minister for Youth Development and other goons in the house. It was actually the professional and highly skilled performance of the Presidential Military Band and the beautiful voice of a young female compere that co-anchored the event. This lady got me highly fired up, I’m gonna tell you why, later (God willing).  

There is a part I didn’t tell you. On my way back home, my trousers got torn for yansh. God!! The more I tried to stretch out, the more the thing dey tear. No, it wasn’t an accident neither is my suit Aba-made abeg! I just discovered I have grown bigger than I was two months ago when I rocked the suit last. Now, I need a presidential tailor to help me amend the trousers which tore in a presidential manner. You go apply? Conclusively, I now have a better view about rocks. I learned a lesson my geography teacher never taught me. That lesson is that, all rocks are beautiful but only the rock that has Aso behind it is special and powerful.

I need to quickly attend to justemdee.com/biz. Thanks for reading my uninteresting story about an interesting place. Love You!!